He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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