he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize