Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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