Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
soo... how was my night?
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