Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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