He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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