not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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