Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
