dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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