evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
