remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
