Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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