Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
