Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
