is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize