I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
