So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
