I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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