went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
