i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
