God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
