I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Who died my cat blue again?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
