The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
