you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
