your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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