now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
