you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
