I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
