do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
