no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
