White coat. Heels.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
