wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
