remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
