no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have post one night stand depression
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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