I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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