stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
