it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
