I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
