dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
