I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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