turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
50% drunk capacity currently
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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