I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
