you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
