You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
