just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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