If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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