I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
this is an emotional support booty call
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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