Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
