physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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