we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
