Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
