we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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