It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
