Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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