finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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