My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I need water and some morals
The adults are the big ones right?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
