rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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