make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
