It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
