Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
third nipple confirmed
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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