First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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