who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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