i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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