Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
