you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
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