But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
