yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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