Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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