Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
