escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
