my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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