Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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