Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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